Gons Nachman, a former United States diplomat who purportedly had intercourse with teenage minors while in Brazil was sentenced to 20 years in prison today. Gons Nachman, for some reason not quite understood by us, decided to tape these inappropriate encounters. Nachman was in court earlier this year for the taping of these encounters. He pleaded guilty.

Nachman’s defense team has argued from the beginning that the cultural scene in Brazil made his actions appear to be far more acceptable. As one might guess, this was likely a ploy aimed at garnering sympathy for Nachman from the judge. We find this sort of defense to be utterly ridiculous and what one might call a “last minute resort.” It’s apparent that Nachman’s legal team was unable to conjure something more substantial in his defense.

The judge trying Gons Nachman obviously didn’t buy into the “cultural differences” defense and chose to sentence Nachman to twenty years in prison. He will serve these twenty years as two consecutive life terms. We’re very glad that the judge saw right through the defense team’s antics.

The future doesn’t look bright for Gons Nachman, and we feel that is utterly appropriate given the sorts of crimes he committed. It’s quite obvious to us that he’s a coward, and that statement is validated by his stab at trying to game the legal system. We wish him a productive time in jail, where he could always take on some cultural studies.